flminago outbrek
by QLGingerBlade
Summary: I. . . I don't really think words can prepare you for this shit. Good luck, soldier, and godspeed. Best mixed with a heavy dose of 'holy shit' and 'what the fuck', and a sprinkle of marijuana to toke it up.


**AN: hey there. please don't think this is my GREATEST work.**

**it is my BEST.**

**totally.**

**i'm definitely not being an asshole and joking around with a buddy or anything. nope.**

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One day, Cloud was walking down the street and he met his new best friend, MARY SUE! and then mary sue thought it would be a good idea to go with cloud to the pond and be SO RANDOM XDDD LOL

mary and cloud talked about their feelings. Cloud was sad because he was diagnosed with cancer in his eye. Mary was sad because her father beat her all the time. Together, they were sad with all the sad. And then, out of nowhere, a genie appeared and then he grantited them three hwishes

cloud wished for an xbox

mary wished for a high end gaming pc

the genie said they had one wish left, since they were sharing their wishes. Cloud wished that he didn't have any more eye cancer and then mary's dad came out of nowhere and beat the shit out of her and then she died

cloud was happy because he didnt have eye cancer but sephiroth killed his girlfriend, aerin hanson

aerin was a beautiful girl with stubble and five chins

she wasnt actually beautiful at all but cloud dated her because he was nice and she got him free food and being a delivery boy((AN: hes actually a prostitoot! deliveres the cloud strife bootay)) wasnt enough monnies and he was sad

so then, clou dwas sad because sephiroth had killed his girlfriend, aerin handsome when suddenly he realized he had bumped into someone, LITERALLY and fell over.z

zack was surprised to run into the blonde with the biggest most kawaii eyes ever and cute red, pouoty lips and blonde hair everywhere((AN: not everyweher, you know what I mean)) and he gasped because she was th emost beautiful girl he had ever seen

"'im so sorrybeautiful he said," she just got mad

"IM A BOY" she said and zack gasped again because it was BOY

so then zakc took BOY back into his house and they had sex

and so cloud was mad because zaclk impregnated his asshole

"WHY DID YOU DO MY ANUS!" cloud whisperd

they went out for ice cream but when went to sit down he(CLoud) scrieked and zack was like "bby what wrong" and cloud went "MY ANUS HURTS" and zakc had this face like 'whaaaaaaat' and cloud was crying and so then they wented to the hospital and the docktor said "ur anus is pregnent"

it was quiet for a while. "WHAAAAAAAAT?!" clou dand zak screamed and then clud was crying and zakck held him and said, "dont worry bby we will have beaitufl kids"

but hten cloud looked and him and said, "ithinkmywaterbroke"

and zkac fainted

and cloud started to cry again beaucee he though dead

but then he was igivng birth

"push!" dokto r said

"CANT"" cloud said, crying because zack was deaaaad((AN: you all kow he isnt tho! XD))

and then cloud saasshool screamed and cried because ti was givnign birth and the suddenly flamingoss? cuz im random like that XD and so cloud's ssshoel was giving birth to s omany flamingos and the doktor tried ot run byut he got drowned and her died.

Then zack woke up because h eloved flamingos and he started to gther them and was like 'CLOUD YOUR TUSHY GAVE ME FLAMINGOS!' and ran out of the house screaming and shit and cloud cried because zak left him for a pretty lfamingo from his ass named Dee and he was sad

cloud decided to go for a walk after having his anal canals ruptured by the fklamingos babies

once he had reached the movuew therarter , he went in to go see his new favoriteawa moviei, iron man IIII, the third sequel to the fourhh one

and so, cloud was sad ebecause michael dogulssa jr was not in this movie, and he is clouds favorite acktor  
1! cloud became sad because no longere was he carrying a big lumosp of anus meat on his butto wbut noiw he was disapoimnted ebecause zackx didn to cakkll hhim anymnore so cloud went to the whorehouyse, therer her mat tifa, his iold girlfriend "

"WECLOSCOME TO GODOD BURGER HOIME OF THE GOODBUREGER CAN I TMANY I TAKE YOUR ORDER" saod toifa

"im sad" said closud

"would you like a sex" said tifae

"yes please" saded cloud

"onew se x coming fright uop "asaid tifa

and then, tyhey had all of the sex. So much os that aftrica no longer ahsd any secks

"cloud" said his best fruiend, zack

"cloud wake up"

cloud was having a dream about hwo his asshoel was impreegeentes

"you were having a bads dream aboiut hopw your awswohle was imroeegentated by my donegere  
" "tsundere kawaaii desu senopai," sed cloud to his lover, dwight shrute

"it is still me, zack," sed zacks

"oh" said eclosud

"coh " said wxzack"

zack was sad becuz cloud wanted dwite and not himn so he fell off building

and sephiroth and genesis and angeel watched a lughed bcese he dumb

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the ende

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**AN: rip in piss, zakc, rip in piss (just kidding i love you)**


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